Porn
by Tomo Potter
Summary: James is intent on finding Sirius's secret stash of wank mags. SLASH RLSB.


_A/N: :O A ONESHOT NO WAY :D_

_I've abandoned the idea of posting things on my bebo blog, because I have younger (and male) friends that would be HORRIFIED by this, haha. (Most of my friends have never encountered my fanfiction XD) So you'll just have to bear with my constant stream of oneshots and ficlets, mwah hah hah! I'll still be posting updates on my computer situation there though, so stay tuned! :D_

_Warnings: Slash, swearing, sexual references._

_Disclaimer: All characters you recognise belong to J.K. Rowling, and not me._

_Note: Uncaringness is a cool word. I don't know if it's a real word, and I don't care. Oh and also, this is set in sixth year :D_

**Porn**

"Check it out guys, Longbottom gave me a wank mag!" James said cheerfully, entering the dorm, a copy of Busty & Bewitched clutched triumphantly in his hands. "Dunno how he got it in, but it's mine now!"

Pornography was, of course, banned at Hogwarts, so one as fine as this was a treasure indeed.

"Nice one, James!" Peter grinned, looking up from his solo chess match. "Why'd he give it to you?"

"Dunno. 'Cos I'm awesome?" James grinned. "Who cares, it's mine now!"

Remus rolled his eyes over the top of his book, not getting into the hype. Sirius, who was lying across Remus's lap, rolled his eyes too.

"No big. I've got loads." His eyes widened a second later as he realised what he had said.

James's eyes widened. "You _bastard_! Why didn't you share 'em?"

"I... uh... didn't think you'd be interested." He shrugged, feigning uncaringness.

"_Didn't think I'd be interested?_ How many times have I bored you to tears ranting about how I could get one in?"

"Well yeah, but I..."

"No buts." James glared at him. "How the hell did you get 'em in? Actually, never mind that. Show me the goods." He demanded, holding out a hand.

"They're... uh... not...."

"No stammering. You're turning into Moony. Porn me."

Sirius dragged himself to an upright sitting position, trying to figure out how to get himself out of this one. "No." He tried. "You can't have them. They're mine."

"What? Don't be a git, Padfoot. Marauders, one for all and all that jazz, share and share alike, just show me the damn porn."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"I uh... I burned them."

"WHAT? Why the hell would you burn them? Those are like white gold! You're bluffing. Why don't you want to show me them, you arsehole?"

"I don't..." Sirius said feebly, turning scarlet.

"Screw this. I'm gonna find 'em." James said angrily, storming over to Sirius's bed and turning the pillowcase inside out.

"James, calm down." Remus said, entering the conversation for the first time. "Why is this such a big deal?"

"It's a big deal, Moony, my innocent flower," James said firmly, looking under the bed. "Because Sirius has been hiding things from us, and that is not The Marauder Way. Aha!" James added, lifting up the mattress and pulling out a magazine, face freezing a second later.

"Don't!" Sirius cried, leaping to his feet, but it was already too late.

"Wizards And Their Wands?" James said hollowly, showing the cover to Sirius, and due to their closeness, Remus. The cover seemed to be a wizard dressed only in tight black underpants, the wooden end of a broom sticking out from between his legs, and another man kneeling next to him, one hand on the first man's stomach, the other on his thigh, and the tip of his tongue lightly touching the tip of the broom. It was so obvious what this was that there was really no excuse Sirius could offer to explain it away as anything else. The three of them stood together in stunned shock, Peter joining them when he had gotten up and gone to see what the fuss was about.

"Sirius..." James said in that same, hollow voice. "You're not.... you can't be..."

"I..." Sirius said, voice shaking terribly in comparison. "I... I _am_." He whispered the last word so quietly that Remus barely heard it from right beside him.

"No. There's no way." James said, backing away slowly, the magazine slipping from between his fingers and hitting the floor loudly.

"Sirius?" Peter near-whimpered. "You're not, are you?"

"I am." He said louder this time, his body now shaking visibly as well as his voice. "I'm... I've been trying to figure out how to.... but it always seemed... but I am. I'm... I'm gay." Again, he almost whispered the last word, though this time it was clearly loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You can't be. No." James said firmly, taking another step backwards. Sirius's shaking increased.

"Don't... please don't be... scared. I'm not... this doesn't mean anything. I just... I just don't like... well you know."

"Don't talk to me." James said, heading for the door now. "Just... don't." He left, slamming the door behind him. Peter followed, clearly too shocked to say another word.

Sirius flopped back onto Remus's bed, running his hands through his hair, burying his face in his hands. He became aware of the stillest presence in the room for the first time since James's discovery when Remus moved, sitting up next to him.

"Go on." Sirius said hoarsely. "I know you wanna run away too, I'm not gonna stop you."

"I don't want to run away." Remus said softly, taking Sirius's hands away from his face, the grey eyes filled with tears moving up to meet his curiously. "I'm not afraid." He smiled.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, though he didn't pull away when Remus slid his fingers through Sirius's, entwining their hands gently.

"I was so, so scared when I figured out what I was." He smiled warmly. "I didn't want to risk anyone finding out. That was why I had my one and only girlfriend. I broke up with her when I realised it wasn't working... being with a girl wasn't fixing me, it was just making it worse. I felt so alone."

"You... you're gay too?" Sirius said softly, eyes filled with astonishment.

Remus nodded. "I figured it out in fourth year, when I started getting tingly whenever a guy touched me, daydreaming about kissing boys, and thinking of a guy when I... uh... yeah. It was pretty devastating."

"I only figured it out this summer." Sirius confessed. "I've been freaking out ever since. I got my OWL results, and all of a sudden I started thinking 'I wonder how Remus did', only then it turned to 'I wonder how he reacted when he got them,' and 'I wonder if he smiled that sweet little smile and screamed and danced around. No, it's Moony. He'd just smile quietly. The dancing image is cool though, especially if he was in his underwear...' and then I looked down and..." Sirius stopped, looking up from his knees, and realising suddenly exactly who he was talking to.

Remus was bright red. "You... you think I have a sweet smile?" He said shyly, clearly unsure of what else you could possibly say to something like that.

"Well... uhh... yeah. It's all... you know... smile-y." Sirius blushed in return. "I mean... uh..."

"Thanks." Remus smiled, the exact smile Sirius had been picturing that day, only now it's full force was directed at him, and the secret crush Sirius had been nursing all of this year suddenly flared up, becoming stronger than ever.

"I think you have a sweet smile too." Remus spoke again, the smile continuing with his words, and Sirius wanted to melt and die and kiss him, possibly all at once.

And then Remus was leaning closer and closer and WOAH he was really close, and then Sirius felt two perfect, soft lips cover his own, and Remus was kissing him, just lightly, chastely, and yet tenderly, a kiss matching his personality perfectly. And Sirius was kissing back, and then a soft tongue caressed his own, and their mouths were pressed together even closer, Remus's tongue dancing lightly against his own before withdrawing, and then advancing again, and all Sirius could think was that this was the best, most perfect kiss of his life, and whatever happened from here on out, this would be one of his most treasured memories of all time.

And then Remus pulled back, ending it, face scarlet. "Sirius, I'm sorry... I..." He stammered.

"Don't apologise." He smiled. "Please, please don't."

Remus beamed, a smile somehow even lovelier than the one before. "Can I do something else to make it up?" And then he was kissing him again. And it was slow and sweet and tasting of chocolate, and just as perfect as the one that came before it.

_A/N: There you go :D I'm quite happy with how this turned out, actually. Expect more soon (maybe) and hopefully new Brotherhood once I get access to my stuff again. _


End file.
